Mishaps in Matchmaking
by Quills and Scrolls
Summary: It seemed Clark Kent was always saving Lana, herself or those she loved. Now after witnessing a moment between Clark and his intrepid reporter sidekick, Lana is determined to repay him for all he's done for her, and what better way than to play cupid.


Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville; it is without prejudice property of The WB (2001–06), The CW (2006–11), Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster, DC Comics, Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Tollin/Robbins Productions Warner Bros. Television. I own nothing I merely borrowing a group of fascinating characters. I will return them relatively unscathed…well I return them anyway. No money is made from this and no infringement of copyright is intended. This will be removed if contacted. This story is not for monetary gain but purely for enjoyment purposes. I claim no ownership with exception to my own original characters and ideas. All recognizable characters are not mine, merely my own creations. Nor do I own the Phillies just a fan. I own nothing I merely borrowing a group of fascinating characters. I will return them relatively unscathed…well I return them anyway. No money is made from this and no infringement of copyright is intended. This will be removed if contacted. This story is not for monetary gain but purely for enjoyment purposes. I claim no ownership with exception to my own original characters and ideas.

Title: Mishaps in Matchmaking

Author: Egyptian Sunrise

Rating: R (NC-17ish at times)

Pairings: Chlark

Spoilers: Season One 'Metamorphosis' onward.

Warnings: Course language, Maybe NC-17 situations, violence

Summary: It seemed Clark Kent was always saving Lana, herself or those she loved. Now after witnessing a moment between Clark and his intrepid reporter sidekick, Lana is determined to repay him for all he's done for her, and what better way than to play cupid. Whitney Fordman, however was not thrilled with his girlfriend's plan, while his rivalry with Kent for Lana's heart had died down- he didn't mind the young farmer's presence. Torch editor Chloe Sullivan was another matter entirely. Lana, however, would not be swayed and now he was cupids spy.

A/N: I will also be trying to update this at least once a week, as I am also working on three other stories. Two of them being Chlark, one I'm toying with the idea of a Clark/OC. So be on the lookout for:

Pasts Present- A time Travel Fic

Morning Sickness- Chp 2 mostly likely Monday or Tuesday.

Awakening- the Clark/OC

Mishaps in Matchmaking

Chapter One:

Phase One

Ducking out of the back entrance of Smallville High, Lana Lang shivered slightly as a gust of wind ruffled her dark, silky, hair and billowing out Whitney's letterman jacket. Tugging the red and gold jacket, snuggly around her body she hurried off toward the football stadium. She smiled sweetly at a few cheerleaders, jocks, and a few people she wasn't quite sure she knew, as she rushed across the grass. Ducking into the stadium she paused by the small, newly, renovated concession stand and scanned the bleachers for her boyfriend. Of all the times for Whitney to relent on his constant guard, it had to be now. Granted she wasn't being tailed by the meteor-freak of the week, well she hoped not anyway, but this was exciting news and she need to share it. Heaving a sigh, she jogged toward the player's tunnel hoping to find someone to send into the locker room to look for him.

"Nah man…" She grinned blindingly when she heard Whitney's voice echoing off the curved, cinderblock walls that led back to the player's home team locker room. "…I need to get back and find Lana before she gets out of AP Lit."

"Aww, come on Fordman!" Lana's happy smile, quickly gave way to a scowl. Lance Harper, the new running back for the Smallville Crows, groaned.

"What did, Lang revoke your man card when she stole your balls?" Lance's gruff laughter rang nosily along the cinder-blocked hall, and Lana wrinkled her nose in displeasure. Leaning her back against the wall she listened. She knew eavesdropping was rude, but with Lance she'd make an exception. Ever since she had met Lance Harper, she had never trusted him. The second he had made the varsity team he, had cozied up to Whitney and become a constant shadow around him. In the cafeteria, he always made sure to squeeze in at their table. He would pop up in random places as Whitney walked her to class, on Monday popping up in the history wing when his class was across campus in the Science wing and the next day showing up somewhere else. Even one time showing up at Smallville's only movie theater during one of their dates and joined them without invitation. If she didn't know better she'd say her boyfriend had a stalker.

"You know Harper," Whitney drawled, and just by the tone of his voice, Lana knew whatever he was about to say was not going to complementary. "My girl, almost became bug food… so excuse the fuck otta me…for I don't know…wanting to protect her."

Lance sneered, and tossed his gym bag to the floor. "I get it dude…but I think Lang can handle walking to her next class all by her lonesome. I mean I'm sure even she can manage not to get kidnapped between Lit and lunch."

"Fuck you, man." Whitney spat, grabbing Harper by the lapels and slamming him into the water boy's locker. A loud clanged echoed sharply around them, as the metal dented under the force of the hit. Lana jumped, and barely repressed a squeak of surprise. "Just because you've never loved anyone...doesn't mean the rest of us are that hopeless, or that we all desperate enough- to bring our thirteen year old- cousin as a date to the homecoming dance."

Lana bit her lip nervously, worried for his safety. Lance, while not as tall as Whitney had at least a good twenty pounds on his broad frame. She quickly stepped out of her hiding place, and silently stepping into the shelter. Both boys were oblivious to her presence as they glared at each other.

Rage was written clearly on Lance's pimpled face.

"You fucking, bastard." Lance snarled, his lips pulling back over his teeth. "Fine, prance after your little virgin like a horny pup…who am I to stop you?"

Whitney's eyes flashed, his knuckles turning white as he tightened his hold on the running backs, lapels. "You say what you want about me, but you leave Lana out of this."

"Oh yes," Lance drawled dramatically. "We mustn't anger the perfect princess of Smallville high…"

"Well this perfect princess, thinks the peasant has out stayed his welcome." Lana said sweetly, Harper's eyes snapped toward her and she batted her dark lashes at him, mockingly.

Surprised, Whitney automatically released his hold on Lance and spun to face her. His eyes ticked over her small frame nervously, as if he expected her to scold him, and normally she would have had it not been Lance. Lana, currently dwarfed in gold and red, stood poised under the flickering florescent bulb, arms crossed over her chest, she smiled sweetly and demurely flicked her wrist.

"Be gone, be gone I say."

Whitney snorted in amusement. Backing away, from his seething teammate, who had just been cut down by a five –foot- nothing girl, he grinned. Lance glowered at the small sprite, and for one brief moment Lana felt a tickle of fear dance up her spine before he turned and stormed away.

Whitney turned grinning beautifully at her and pulled her to him in an enthusiastic hug. He laughed, happily in her ear, his warm breath sending shivers down her spine. When he pulled away, he placed a sweet kiss softly on her waiting lips and reached up to tuck a flyaway hair behind her ear.

"So Miss. Lang," Whitney began with mock indignation. "Care to tell me what was so important to break your promise."

Lana smiled sheepishly, blushing. "Well, I needed to talk to you about something."

Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, and picking up his bag in the other, he led her back into the chilly September air. "So, what exactly was so important, it couldn't wait until after class?"

"Well," she smiled happily, coming to a stop and gazing up at him, her eyes glowing. Despite himself, Whitney couldn't help but be slightly mesmerized by her hazel eyes. "Lit class ended early, so I figured I'd head for the library to start on my paper on Amino Acids…"

Whitney arched a brow.

Lana rolled her eyes at his impatience. "…anyway, I had to stop by my locker, and you'll never guess what I saw."

"Hmmm," Whitney mused, tapping a finger against his lips. "Big foot?"

Lana poked her tongue out childishly, at his good-humored teasing. "No, better. I saw Clark and Chloe in the halls…"  
>"Yeah, I'm still not getting how this is big news. Everyone knows Sullivan, Kent, and Ross are attached at the hip."<p>

Lana swatted him lightly on the arm. "If you'd let me finish,"

Whitney made a comedic show out grimacing, and zipping his lips, and throwing away the key.

"Good, now as I was saying…I saw Chloe and Clark on their way to the Torch. You should have seen them Whitney, they were so adorable, I mean you should have seen the way Chloe looked at him." By now, Lana was practically vibrating in excitement. Whitney's brow however was furrowed in confusion.

"Okay, so Sullivan's got it bad for Kent. Everyone knows that, well except Kent, maybe."

Lana sighed, and rubbed at her forehead in exasperation- men were so dense sometimes. "Not where I was going, Whitney. I think we should help them along, ya know. A nice little shove in the right direction."

Whitney's eyes bugged out slightly, and incredulously questioned. "You want to play matchmaker, for Clark Kent?"

Lana nodded like an excited five year old on a sugar rush, Whitney chuckled. "The guy who has had the hots for you, since you were in _Pampers_? That Clark Kent?"

Lana rolled her eyes, and waved away his words. "Yeah, Clark might think he has a thing for me, but he doesn't."

The quarterback's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and drawled. "Riiiiiiiiiight, and just how do you figure that?"

Lana sighed, apparently she need to explain everything. The bell for third period sounded dully from the school speakers, Lana ignored it. Thankful that she had a free period, Whitney however had Home Ec. Normally she loathed when he skipped class, but just this once wouldn't hurt. At least this time it was for a good cause and not for an early run to the _Burger Shack_. Grabbing him by the wrist, she hurried up the flight of metal steps leading up to the bleachers. Surprised, Whitney trailed after her.

Pulling him down onto the bench, she grinned impishly at him. "Now, I know Clark fancies himself in love with me…I'm not oblivious Whitney, but I'm the safe choice for him. Chloe however, she knows him better than probably anyone does. It's scary to jump into a relationship with someone you know could have the power to break your heart."

"Sounds like you speak from experience." He teased, leaning forward and gently brushing the tip of his nose over hers. Lana smiled serenely, her bronze skin glowing with happiness.

"Exactly, I only need one date with you to know you could break my heart." Catching his bottom lip between hers, she nipped it gently with her teeth before soothing it with the tip of her tongue.

"So, what do you think?" she questioned, with a happy sigh.

"Even if what you said about Kent's feelings for you is true, and I'm highly stressing the if here, how do you even know he has any feelings for the Queen of Snark?"

Lana sighed, and muttered. "Men." Under her breath, ignoring her boyfriend's indignant huff. Grasping his hand in hers, she smiled to herself.

"Women's intuition."

"Seriously?"

Lana scowled, pulling her hand away from his, and swatting his shoulder. "Yes, all they need is a little cupid magic."

"Right," he muttered uncertainly.

"Come on, Whitney. Please, just trust me on this."

"But, I don't even like Sullivan." He whined and Lana pursed her lips in annoyance.

"Regardless, they deserve a really chance at happiness."

Whitney groaned, knowing his was beat but not wanting to give in quite yet. He had an image to protect and all. "I still am drawing a blank as to why you want to do this."

Smoothing back his mused wheat colored hair, back she answered softly. "He saved or helped save both of our lives. We owe him this much. And if we happen to end up with a couple to double with…well so be it."

Whitney groaned, he should have known. "We do have a couple to double with, Amber and Corey."

Lana flinched slightly. "Yeah, and they're great…really." she returned weakly.

Whitney groaned, letting his face fall into his hands. After months of dating Lana, he knew when he was beat.

"Fine, Cupid enlighten me to your master plan."

Lana squealed softly and hugging his slumped shoulders. "Well Eros, we need to get them into a romantic setting…" she pursed her lips thinking, then she beamed.

"…I've got it, you'll invite Clark and Chloe on a horseback ride down to Chandler's Field. We'll have a picnic and then we'll slip away and give them some privacy."

"Me!" Whitney jerked up. "Why do I have to invite them?"

Lana rolled her eyes. "Because it might seem like more, coming from me. And Chloe and I aren't exactly friends…yet."

Whitney groaned, that maniacal gleam was blazing away in her bright eyes as she plotted.

"Fine, I'll find Kent after lunch." He relented. Lana beamed throwing herself sideways, and into his arms.

"I love you so much!" she whispered in his ear. He shivered.

"I love you too."

…

"Hey, Kent!" Clark looked up from his locker, where he stood packing up his red backpack. He looked somewhat surprised as Whitney dodged swarming bodies to get to him. While Clark didn't have much of a problem with Whitney, except for having the girl of his dreams and making him the scarecrow, he wouldn't consider them friends.

"Uh…hi Whitney…uhm what's up?" He asked shifting, nervously.

"Chill Kent," Whitney rolled his eyes, leaning his back against the closed locker door besides Clark, his books dangling from one hand. "I'm here…well because Lana's making me."

Clark's head snapped up, and for a moment, Kent had a hopeful gleam in his eyes. Whitney rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Lana?" Clark question, his voice almost reverent. Whitney's eyebrows shot up in surprise, as much as he loved Lana, he was never so blindly smitten with her. It seemed Clark saw Lana Lang as a saint, incapable of being anything but sunshine, puppies, and rainbows. What Clark had never seen, was Lana on a bad day when her hair was matted and still in her frayed Kermit pajamas and a hot water bottle never out of reach, or how she turned into a growling beast when she got a case of the sniffles. While that had never fazed Whitney, he believed it was because he never saw Lana as anything but a normal girl. Clark, however lived in a fantasy world, and while Whitney was not a very philosophical person he knew that for love to be real one had to love every part- the good, the bad, and the PMSing and the snarky.

Whitney snickered softly, if only Clark had seen Lana during _Metropolis Sharks _games, cursing and tossing popcorn at the television. He had a feeling that would ruin Clark's perception, of the fairytale princess the farm boy had created in his mind.

"Yeah, look Lana wanted me to invite you and Chloe with us this weekend. We're ridding out to Chandler's Field, and Lana wants to have a picnic."

"Chloe?" Clark asked in surprise, stuffing his math notebook into his backpack.

"Yes, Kent. Are you only capable of answering a question with a question? Yes, Chloe. Lana thinks it'll be fun."

Clark snickered behind his hand. "Chloe, on a horse? It'll be more like slapstick."

Zipping his backpack, Clark slung it over his shoulder and slammed his locker door. Giving the dial a spin, he turned toward the quarterback. Whitney grinned; maybe this would be interesting after all. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a flash of powder blue and ebony hair, and rolled his eyes. Ever the curious one, he knew Lana wouldn't be able to stay away as her plan came to fruition. She ducked into the empty AV Club classroom, unbeknownst to Clark.

"Chloe will do a lot of things for a story, but I don't think she'd ever get on a horse for even for a Pulitzer."

Clapping him on the shoulder, Whitney shrugged his eyes drifting to the 'Go Crows' banner. "Make it happen, Kent. For some reason Lana's on a kick of wanting more girlfriends."

Clark's eyes bugged. "Chloe and Lana, friends?"

The quarterback snorted. "In a town full of human electric wires and bug boys, I think even Lana and Chloe can manage to become friends."

Clark blushed and shuffled awkwardly, scuffing the toe of his work boot against the filthy linoleum.

"See you both, on Saturday." That done, Whitney shouldered away from the locker and headed toward the Audio Visual Club, where Lana had taken refuge. A quick glance over his shoulder and he saw that the other half of the equation had taken his place. Chloe Sullivan, balancing a traveling coffee mug in one hand and a large file box in the other was chirping excitedly at the hulking Kent.

Clark rolled his eyes, taking the box from her hand, and allowed her to drag him off toward the Torch, a fond smile curling at his lips.

Huh. Whitney mused; maybe-just maybe- Lana had a point.

…


End file.
